


Quite the Senior Year

by prouveyrac



Category: HTGAWM, How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: High School AU, M/M, coliver - Freeform, connor accidentally punches oliver in the face and knocks him out, he didn't mean it tho, pre coliver tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-10 02:11:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3272951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouveyrac/pseuds/prouveyrac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not like Connor meant to punch the new kid in the face. Things happen; people are shitbags. And sometimes people happen to get caught in the middle of these fights. (Coliver High School Au)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And This Is How It Starts

**Author's Note:**

> based off the prompt: Accidentally knocked you out when you got caught in the middle of a fist fight between me and this other kid during school. So I sat with you in the nurses office. Shut up! Punks like me have consciouses to you know!
> 
> follow me on tumblr @ actualconnorwalsh.tumblr.com !!!

It’s not like Connor _meant_  to go and punch the new kid in the face. 

And he especially didn’t mean to knock the poor kid out.

 It’s just… Connor gets into more fights than he should. Things happen; people are shitbags. And sometimes people happen to get caught in the middle of these fights.

 And this time, that person was this new kid Connor vaguely heard about from Michaela during homeroom. 

The fight immeadiately stopped when Connor threw the punch that accidentally hit the guy. Most people instantly fled because they didn’t want to be the ones in trouble for rooting on a fight. No one wanted to be dragged in with the fight that _knocked out the new kid_. And also, the final bell already rang. Who the hell would want to stay later? 

Of course it ended up just being Connor and a junior-year teacher screaming at him from down the hall (and the new guy on the floor). 

When the principal and the nurse finally arrived, the new kid was taken the the nurses office and Connor was taken into the nearest classroom. And after enduring a fifteen minute screaming lecture about how “this is one of the highest ranking schools in the state, that should never happen” and “what will his parents think?” and that “Connor is ruining his future”, he was given three days on in-school-suspension and told to go home. 

He didn’t go home because, believe it or not, he actually wanted to see if the kid was okay. He wanted to apologize thourougly and see if he wasn’t too injured. Shocker, he’s _not_  actually the shittiest person. 

Connor kept his head ducked while walking to the nurse’s office. By now, because of texting and the crowd, most people knew about the fight, especially teachers. And he really didn’t want to spend more time than he had to here. He just wanted to see if the guy was okay, apologize, then leave. It’s Friday, he has places to be and people to see. 

Right around the corner to the office, he ran into Michaela. “You are a dumbass,” she hissed, stopping Connor in his tracks. “ _Another_  fight? I know you’ve already been accepted into a college and all, but stuff like this can start to affect you! People aren’t going to be saying great stuff about you when you’re applying to jobs if you keep pulling shit like this!” 

"Michaela, I already got that you’re-ruining-your-life lecture from the principal," Connor said, rolling his eyes and leaning against the wall. "I don’t need it again." 

Michaela sighed, brushing her hair out of her face. “I know. Now, come on. It’s Friday and I want to go home.” 

"Actually, just give me like ten minutes, okay?" He started to back away from her towards the direction of the nurse’s office. "I want to make sure the kid’s okay." He then spun around on his heel. "Go watch Aiden at swim practice, he looks great shirtless. I would know." 

"You’re a dick, Connor!" Michaela called to him.

 "I’ll text you once we can leave," he called back, giving her a small wave. 

When he entered the office, he instantly saw the kid sitting in one of the chairs, awake and holding an ice pack to his head. He couldn’t help but notice that his glasses were horribly crooked (and that he was hot but that’s a different thing). 

"Hey," Connor said awkwardly, leaning on the doorframe and scratching at the back of his neck, looking down. 

"You have quite the arm," the kid said. Connor looked up and was relieved to see that the other didn’t look angry.

 Connor shrugged, giving a small smile. “Listen… I didn’t mean to punch you in the face. Like, that other guy, he’s a douche. And then things escalated and you were thrown in and… now we’re here,” he explained. 

"It’s alright," he said, shrugging. "It was the other guy’s fault. Literally. He dragged me into it to shield himself…. I guess I’m just a bit mortified, honestly. I’m probably going to be known as the kid Connor Walsh punched on his first day." 

Connor furrowed his eyebrows. “You know my name?”

 The other kid laughed slightly. “Everyone in this school knows who you are. So yeah, I’ve heard about you today and people have pointed you out to me.” 

Connor nodded, moving to sit in the seat next to him. “So, since you know who I am, I feel like I should know who you are.” 

"Oliver. Hampton," Oliver said. "I would shake your hand but it looked like you injured it terribly." 

"Says the guy with the bruised face and an ice pack held to his head," Connor said. Though, he did look down at his hand to see it was already starting to bruise. "Eh, it’s okay. It’s not the first time." 

"I’ve heard that, that you get into fights a lot," Oliver smiled slightly. 

Connor chuckled, nodding. “So, are you terribly hurt?” he asked, worrying his bottom lip. 

Oliver shook his head. “The nurse thinks I might have a slight concussion, so she’s just making me stay here until either my mom or dad get home and can take me. And she’s just making me ice my head. I personally think it’s bullshit. I feel fine and my house is just a couple blocks away. I can walk myself.”

 Connor nodded. “Well, that’s good,” he commented. “That would have sucked if you got a concussion on your first day in a new school. Though, you can always just change the story and say you were protecting a naive underclassman.” Connor smiled at him, tilting his head to the side slightly. 

Oliver grinned, shaking his head. “I’m not very strong, they’d be the one protecting me,” he laughed, finally taking the ice pack off and putting it on the side table. Adjusting his glasses, he frowned when he noticed that they were broken. 

"I-I can pay for that," Connor offered, running a hand through his hair. 

"You don’t have to," Oliver said, taking them off and observing them. "I’m due for a new pair anyway so now I just have a reason to get them sooner." He hesitated then before asking, "And, don’t take this the wrong way, but why are you here? Like, I would expect a guy like you to be on a date or something…" 

Connor shook his head, crossing his ankle over his leg. “Well, the last guy I was seeing and I broke up a couple weeks back, and my friend Michaela can wait. Besides, she’s not my type,” Connor smirked. 

"O-Oh," Oliver stammered. Connor noticed that his face was going a bit red. 

"And besides, I wanted to see if you were okay," Connor added on. "I generally don’t like hurting people when they didn’t deserve it. Like the other guy, he’s awful to myself and a bunch of my friends. But you? You seem like a nice guy."

 "That’s very kind of you," Oliver said softly, smiling. 

Connor then looked at the clock and noticed that it has been well over ten minutes. He stood, looking down at Oliver. “Hey, wanna get out of here?” He asked. 

"Wait, what?" Oliver raised an eyebrow, looking up at him.

 "You yourself said you were fine, school ended over a half hour ago. I think we should leave. The nurse technically can’t stop you. And my friend Michaela has a car and I’m sure she’ll be nice enough and drive you home. Or you can hang out with us and a couple more friends, we’re all a party." 

Oliver nodded, smiling slightly and standing. He swung his bag over his shoulder and pocketed the broken glasses in his jacket pocket. “That… that’d be nice. You don’t have to hang out with me though because of pity or whatever, I won’t take it personally if you want me to leave.” 

Connor frowned, shaking his head. “I want you to, it would be fun,” he said, leading Oliver quickly out of the office. 

Oliver was silent for a couple moments before saying, “You said Michaela wasn’t your type. What do you mean by that?” 

"I mean that girls are great beings, I’m just not into them," Connor explained before winking at Oliver.

He then checked his phone. "Speaking of the devil, we shouldn’t keep her waiting much longer, she’s already sending me threats. But don’t worry, she’s actually very nice." 

Oliver nodded. “Oh and thanks for coming to see if I was okay.” 

"Don’t mention it," Connor said. "What kind of person would I be if I didn’t?" 

Besides, Connor was very happy that he did end up going to see Oliver.  


	2. Purely Physical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guidance counselor ended up messing up Oliver's schedule. Due to that, he ended up in a couple of Oliver's classes. Five, to be exact.  
> Connor has known Oliver for about a week, and he’s decided that he likes him. Not like likes; Connor doesn’t do that. Relationships are messy and need talking about feelings and such. And Connor doesn't do that. See, Connor just thinks Oliver is a great, intelligent guy. A friend.  
> (But if Oliver wanted to hook up with Connor, it’s not like he would object to it or anything).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god thank you for all the positive feed back on the first chapter!!! you all have no idea how much that means to me <3 well, i hope you enjoy the second chapter!!! find me on tumblr @ actualconnorwalsh.tumblr.com
> 
> just a warning, there are a couple time skips in this chapter which are separated by "~~"
> 
> also, my formatting was kinda messed up while i was fixing this, so i'm really sorry if there are any problems~

The guidance counselor ended up messing up Oliver's schedule. Due to that, he ended up in a couple of Oliver's classes. Five, to be exact.  
  
Connor has known Oliver for about a week, and he’s decided that he likes him. Not  _like_  likes; Connor doesn’t do that. Relationships are messy and need talking about feelings and such. And Connor doesn't do that. See, Connor just thinks Oliver is a great, intelligent guy. A friend.  
  
(But if Oliver wanted to hook up with Connor, it’s not like he would object to it or anything).

~~

“See, it’s actually quite simple, really, you just-... you’re already not paying attention.”

Connor looked up from his phone to see Oliver looking at him with a raised eyebrow. The two sat on Connor’s bed, two open textbooks and a bunch of pages of notes laid out in front of them. Oliver surprisingly isn't far behind in school, despite having moved. So, upon finding out Connor is not doing well in math, he offered to help him out.

(Well, actually, Connor is fine in math. Great, actually. He just needed an excuse to hang out with Oliver, and when he found out that he’s a math genius, he took the opportunity).

Connor smiled, locking his phone. “Sorry it’s just so…  _boring_. And you’ve explained it like, a  _hundred_  times. I still don’t get it. How about we just… take a break.”  
  
Oliver hesitated before sighing and nodding. “Okay,” he said. Connor grinned and shifted to move to lying on his stomach. “You know, you can ask our teacher for help if I’m not explaining it well.”  
  
Connor rolled his eyes, unlocking his phone. “Please, you’re a much better teacher than he is,” he replied. “Besides, I’d rather you be teaching me.”  
  
Oliver smiled, lying on his back. The bruise on his cheek had almost faded away and just that day he had his glasses replaced.  
  
Connor checked his phone for a couple minutes, replying to some messages, before turning to see Oliver frowning at his phone.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Connor asked, furrowing his eyebrows and keeping his eyes on Oliver.  
  
“It’s that guy I was telling you about before,” Oliver murmured, not looking over at him. “He just asked me out.”  
  
Connor remembered. It was this guy from Oliver’s old school who he described as “pretty hot but kinda rude”. And, since Oliver only moved a couple towns over, he is still a short enough distance away that he can still see the guy.  
  
He felt a twist in his stomach and the sudden overwhelming sensation of an emotion that he couldn’t place a name to.  
  
“Well, will you?” Connor asked, keeping his voice as level as he could.  
  
Oliver shook his head. “No,” he said. “My friend told me that he broke up with the last guy he was seeing so he could be with me. Which is probably bullshit, really, I mean, I’m not very cool or anything above average so-”  
  
“Hey,” Connor cut him off. “You are  _very_  cool and  _very_  above average. You’re, like, one of the hottest guys at our school.”  
  
Oliver sighed, now his turn to roll his eyes. “And you would know?”  
  
“I  _do_  know,” Connor replied, smirking.  
  
Oliver bit his lip, turning on his side. To face him, Connor did the same.  
  
“And you really think that?” Oliver said. His tone was quiet. It was as if he still doubted Connor.  
  
“Of course I do,” Connor nodded, smiling at Oliver. The two now were awfully close and Connor couldn’t help stop his eyes from moving to his lips and-  
  
 _Fuck._  Oliver is  _hot_  and Connor doesn’t like what he's feeling right now and-  
  
“So, how about we get back to that math,” he said quickly, rolling onto his stomach. He instantly starting to read his notes.  
  
“O-Okay,” Oliver said after a moment of silence. He sounded a bit confused.  
  
Tomorrow he’ll make an excuse for why he didn’t kiss Oliver right there. They were close enough. Tomorrow he’ll say that his sister was in the room right next to him and extremely nosy. Or that his parents could walk up any minute. Hell, he could even say that he was  _actually_  dedicated to studying hard for this test.  
  
But for right now, he’ll just admit -only to himself- that he was concerned about what he felt when he looked at Oliver.

~~

Connor came to the conclusion that if Oliver wanted to hook up with him, he would  _definitely_  say yes.  
  
The music was enough to drown out any sound farther away than five feet. The main room of the party smelled like cheap alcohol. Smoke from whatever the people here were smoking was starting to cloud the room.  
  
It’s not like he even liked the guy throwing this party. He was just invited, so he came. Hot out-of-town guys are always at these types of parties, and Connor hasn’t had a good hook up in a while.  
  
(Yes, Connor would hook up with Oliver, but that doesn’t mean he’s completely off limits).  
  
The guy Connor was talking to currently was about as interesting as paint drying. He was currently going on and on about school or college majors or books Connor read when he was in, like, seventh grade. He wasn’t paying attention. But the guy had a nice face.  
  
Over the guy’s shoulder, Connor spotted a familiar face with large-framed glassed.  
  
“Hold that though,” he said, just loud enough for the other to hear. He then walked away, waving at Oliver.  
  
“Hey, you came!” Connor exclaimed to Oliver when he got close, grinning at him.  
  
“Well you invited me, and I had nothing else to do tonight.” Oliver had to practically shout to be able to be heard.  
  
Connor nodded, leaning in closer to Oliver. “Come on, the back porch is empty. Lets go out there so we can actually talk,” he said in his ear.  
  
Oliver must have spotted the guy he was talking to since he asked, “Aren’t you already talking to someone?”  
  
Connor looked over his shoulder. The other guy was already talking to someone else. “He’s the driest person you’ll ever meet,” he said with an eye roll. “So, come on, lets go.” He then grabbed Oliver’s hand and dragged him out to the back porch.  
  
Luckily, the cool fall air hasn’t fully set in yet, so being outside wasn’t too horrid. Besides, it had to be, like, a  _billion_  degrees inside so Connor would be fine if it was a little cold.  
  
“So,” Oliver said, leaning against the railing. “How’d you do on that math test we were studying for?”  
  
Connor raised an eyebrow, smirking. “It’s Friday night, you’re at a party, and the first thing you talk about is a test we took?”  
  
Oliver laughed, his face flushing. “Don’t make fun of me, I don’t go to parties a lot,” he defended, smiling.  
  
Connor chuckled, standing next to him. “Well, I passed,” he said. He aced it, actually. “But come on, enough talking about school. Lets just talk about… anything else.”  
  
Oliver shrugged. “You don’t have to stay and talk,” he said. “I’m not very interesting or entertaining. And besides, there are a bunch of hot guys in there.”  
  
“Stop saying that,” Connor sighed, looking up at Oliver. The two were close and Connor completely took into notice the height difference between them.  
  
“What, it’s true,” Oliver said casually. “I mean those guys are hot and stuff and I’m just sort of… here.”  
  
“You’re very cool and you’re very hot,” Connor said, facing him now. If he stepped any closer to him, the two would be pressed together chest-to-chest. He had a smirk on his lips, keeping his eyes on Oliver’s. And, yes okay, he did look down at his lips more than once.  
  
“You… you  _could_  just be saying that…”  
  
Connor rolled his eyes. “No, you idiot, I’m not.” He then went up on his toes, pulling Oliver down and pressing his lips against the others.  
  
Now, if this was some cliche teen movie, him and Oliver would fall in love. They'd be those gross "high school sweethearts" or whatever. But no, that will not be the case. Relationships and love and that whole package is messy and requires feelings and opening up to people. And then people get close and vulnerable and all that. And then, irrevocably, everything goes to shit and people are heartbroken and still vulnerable.  
  
And Connor hated that.  
  
So yes he was kissing Oliver (and, yes, maybe he did blow him in the bathroom) but Connor cannot get attached. This stuff is just purely physical and he’ll just deal with it all at another time.  
  
But for right now, he’ll just enjoy the night and the party. 


	3. The Horror That Is Actually Feeling Something For Someone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was obvious that the guy from his history class -Paxton- was checking Connor out from across the hall.
> 
> But he would be lying if he said he wasn’t checking him out too while Michaela was talking to him. Paxton’s quite attractive, model status even. Also someone who Connor would definitely hook up with.
> 
> “No. Connor, stop,” Michaela suddenly said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, thank you for all the positive feed back!!! tbh this chapter took me a lot longer than i wanted it to and i didn't have time to proof read it so i'm sorry if there are any errors <3 also there's like four time skips in this chapter whoops and if there are any formatting errors let me know!!!
> 
> find me on tumblr @ actualconnorwalsh.tumblr.com !!!

It was obvious that the guy from his history class -Paxton- was checking Connor out from across the hall.

But he would be lying if he said he wasn’t checking him out too while Michaela was talking to him. Paxton’s quite attractive, model status even. Also someone who Connor would definitely hook up with.

“ _No._ Connor, stop,” Michaela suddenly said. He assumed that she eventually caught on to the fact that Connor wasn’t paying attention to her and was more interested in Paxton.

Connor boredly looked back at her. “Stop _what?_ ” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Stop checking out Paxton…. And every other guy you’ve been checking out this entire day,” She said in a hushed tone.

“You’ve never had a problem with it before,” he pointed out.

“ _I_ don’t. But _Oliver_ might,” she said, frowning.

“Oliver and I aren’t a thing,” Connor defended. Sure, they’ve hooked up before. Multiple times since the party two weeks ago. But, no, they were not a _thing_. Connor Walsh does not do _things_.

“Considering this history you two have been having for the past two weeks, it would be understandable for him to think you two are,” Michaela said matter-of-factly.

“It’s just hook-ups,” Connor muttered, looking down at the floor. “You know I rarely do more than that.”

“Yes, I know,” Michaela sighed. “And you know what? I get it. You don’t really do relationships. But over these past couple weeks, I’ve gotten to talk to Oliver. And he does do relationships.” She ran a hand through her hair and adjusted her bag over her shoulder. “And I think he’s pretty into you.”

Connor scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I doubt it.”

“Well, of course you would. You haven’t even talked to him about it.” Michaela then looked up slightly when the bell rang. “Believe what you want, but I don’t want Oliver to become just another guy you screw and then screw over.”

Connor sighed, watching his friend walk away for a couple more moments before turning and walking to class.

~~

Hookups don’t immediately mean that you’re in a relationship, right?

It’s not a relationship with Oliver unless Connor says it is. In the end, it’s his final say… right?

Right. He’s sure of himself. There is no strings attached in this. Connor and Oliver, they hook up. It’s probably over in another week. Or two.

But if that’s all true, why does Connor feel so guilty walking to the bathroom to meet Paxton? Paxton’s hot, so is Connor, and Paxton is obviously interested in him. So he shouldn’t feel guilty, he has no reason to. He’s not in a relationship.

But, of course, he still feels guilty.

He sees Paxton leaning against the wall outside the bathroom. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before approaching him.

Paxton’s eyes looked up from his phone, smirking at Connor. “You actually came,” he said, pocketing his phone.

“Why wouldn’t I?”Connor asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Because it’s Friday, and you’re Connor Walsh, and probably have somewhere to be. Or someone to do.”

“But I’m here now,” Connor said, stepping a bit closer to Paxton, causing him to straighten up more. School had only just ended and Connor could feel the eyes of people walking past them.

“You’re tense,” Paxton suddenly said, frowning at Connor. It was then that Connor realized he was standing a bit stiffly. He quickly loosened up, trying to bring back his calm demeanor. “What?” Paxton continued on. “Do you actually have someone else to do? A boyfriend I should be jealous of?”

Connor tried to suppress the nerves in his stomach and forget the guilt he was feeling. He’s Connor Walsh; he doesn’t feel nervous or guilty over stuff like this.

Connor rolled his eyes. “When was the last time you saw me with a boyfriend,” he said. “I do what I want.”

“Of course you do,” Paxton grinned, grabbing his wrists and pulling him into the bathroom. Kicking open the door to the biggest stall they had, Paxton dragged him in, his hands already moving to undo his own pants.

Connor would worry about whatever he’s feeling now, later.

He smirked, moving closer to Paxton, his eyes traveling downwards. He then closed any distance between them, pressing his lips to Paxton’s. He let his hands tangle in the others hair and rolled his hips.

~~

“You know, it’s very rude how you invited me over and then ignore me for school work,” Connor informed, lying on his back on Oliver’s bed. His eyes went from staring up at the ceiling to looking over at Oliver.

“You invited yourself over, because you knew my parents weren’t home,” Oliver pointed out, his eyes staying glued to his notebook. “And then, when I answered the door, you got in too quickly for me to shut it. And now you’re here, distracting me from the work I should be doing.”

Connor sighed. “It’s a _Saturday_ , though,” he complained. “You’re probably, like, the only high school student who doesn’t wait until late Sunday night to do their homework.” He then rolled over onto Oliver’s back, resting on top of them. “Besides, I can think of way better things to do.”

Oliver huffed out a breath. “Well, it’s not going to be you right now. I’m busy tomorrow so I need to get all this done today.” He paused for a moment before adding, “And you’re crushing me.”

“You’ve never complained about me being on top of you before,” Connor smirked.

“Don’t be an asshole!” Oliver exclaimed, pushing Connor off him… and the bed.

“What the hell, Oliver!” Connor called from the floor.

Oliver looked over the side of the bed and down at him. He grinned. “You deserve that, considering you _knocked me out_ on that first day.”

“Okay, I probably did deserve that,” Connor said, smiling up at Oliver.

And then it hit Connor. He didn’t come to Oliver’s house to have sex with him; he came just to see him. It was a coincidence that his parents weren’t home. Connor genuinely wanted to see Oliver and his smile and hear him talk. And guilt was eating away at Connor from yesterday because even though him and Oliver aren’t even exclusive, he can’t help but feel like he did something terrible.

Oh... _shit._

Connor was falling for Oliver.

And that’s fucking terrifying.

That was also when Connor realized that he had to get out of there. He just had to leave Oliver’s house _right now_. He didn’t have to cut ties with Oliver. He could, he has done it before; but he doesn’t _want_ to. And that in itself also scared Connor because with any other guy he would have stopped talking to them three weeks ago. But if he left now, it would give him time to think and be alone. Perhaps he could talk himself out of falling for Oliver. It’s been a while since he has had a boyfriend, and Connor has proven to be a terrible one. He just doesn’t do boyfriends. But Oliver is becoming an exception because he _would_ do Oliver. He just couldn’t stop himself from having feelings for him.

“You know, I should actually be going,” Connor said, sitting up.

“Oh, really?” Oliver asked, frowning.

Connor nodded and stood. “Yeah, you have work to do,” he continued on, shoving his phone in his pocket. “And since you’re busy tomorrow, I really don’t want to distract you from it…”

“Oh, um, okay,” Oliver said slowly. Connor could feel his eyes on him and that just made him move faster.

He probably looked suspicious but he didn’t spend too much time dwelling on it.

~~

Monday came quickly than Connor wanted it to. Unfortunately, any romantic feelings Connor has for Oliver have not been completely destroyed. So, his new plan was to just suppress these feelings, even if Michaela was right and Oliver was actually into him. Not considering the fact that Connor had no other plan, it was a pretty good one.

Monday and Tuesday ended up going by fine. It was the usual; makeout sessions during the time in between classes, completely distracting each other in class, hanging out after school.

And then Wednesday came. The change in Oliver’s demeanor was completely obvious. He was tense around Connor, quieter, even a bit irritated. Connor just brushed it off. Though, at the end of the day when he went to meet Oliver at his locker and was greeted with a, “What do you want?”, he knew _something_ was wrong.

“I… it’s after school? We’re supposed to be meeting up with Michaela at the library?” Connor said, his tone unsure.

“Oh, really, I thought you were going to be meeting up with Paxton,” Oliver said, not looking over at Connor.

Connor sucked in a breath, immediately going tense. How could he not have considered Oliver finding out about that a possibility? “Oliver-”

“Don’t,” Oliver cut him off loudly, glaring at him. His eyes were rimmed with tears. Connor couldn’t help but notice how people were starting to stare. “I’ve been hearing about it from people all day. About how Connor Walsh blew Paxton in the bathroom, or fucked him, or was fucked. You’d be surprised how many variations there are from so many different people. But, you know, I didn’t want to believe it. It was probably just a rumor because it seems like there’s _always_ something about you going around the school. But then to hear it from fucking Paxton himself?”

“We never said we were exclusive,” Connor cut in.

Oliver stared at him, his mouth agape. “We’ve been fucking for a month,” he hissed. “I’m sorry for thinking that meant something. Just… just leave me alone, okay?”

Connor worried his bottom lip. “Oliver, please, calm down. I actually really like you-”

“ _Actually?_ ” Oliver interjected, his voice wavering. He slammed his locker shut and started to walk away.

Connor blocked him, standing in front of him. “Oliver, don’t make this a bigger deal than it is,” he pleaded. “Paxton, he was nothing- he was just a hookup, you’re different-”

“No, I’m not,” Oliver practically shouted. By now, everyone in the hall was staring at them. “I’m just some guy that you screwed just like Paxton is and every guy before me was. I would know. When people first told me about you, it was always in the sense on how you screwed them or their best friend. And now I’m just another guy added to that list.”

“Oliver!”

“I said to leave me alone!” Oliver shouted at him before spinning on his heel and storming away.


	4. Red Roses Are Too Cliche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two were silent for a couple moments before Michaela suddenly said, “Flowers might work.”  
> “What?”  
> “Flowers,” Michaela repeated. “You could get him flowers. They work for girls, I can’t see why they wouldn’t work for guys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have officially given up on titles lmao  
> but again, thanks for all the feedback!!! means a lot to me <3
> 
> find me on tumblr @ actualconnorwalsh.tumblr.com

“I can’t believe you had sex with Paxton,” Michaela coldly said as she walked back into the study of her house. She dropped her binder on the table and sat in her seat.

“Actually, we-” Connor started to correct, crossing his ankles.

“I don’t care what you did,” Michaela interrupted, leafing through her notes, not looking at Connor. “The entire grade has coined about five rumors of what happened, so I’m just grouping it all together and saying that you two had sex.” She then put her finger on something she wrote and looked up at Laurel, who was across the table from her. “It says here that, at the federal level, U.S. attorneys are political appointees and tend to mesh their career ambitions to the needs of their political party.”

Connor sighed, tracing circles with his finger on the textbook in front of him. “Well, either way, what’s done is done. I’m not going to be worrying about what happened between Paxton and me, and then with Oliver and me.” That was a lie. Connor felt terrible, but it’s not like he’s going to admit it.

“Well, shouldn’t you be feeling bad?” Wes asked from the chair next to him. “I’m just saying, you cheated on your boyfriend and-”

“He’s not my boyfriend, and never was,” Connor cut him off. “And besides, Wes, don’t you have a study guide to be making?”

“We’re making one together,” Laurel said. “So instead of continuously talking about you bo- Oliver, and distracting us, how about you actually help us.”

Connor rolled his eyes yet complied, opening his own notebook.

“No, actually,” Michaela started. Connor looked up to see Michaela facing him.

“Michaela, don’t distract him,” Laurel said. “We need to get this done and do good on this test.”

"We're the top students in the class," Michaela dismissed, resting her head on her hands. She kept her eyes on Connor with a smirk on her face.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Connor asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"You're telling me," Michaela started. "That you spent at least a month with Oliver -yes, you two were basically dating- and all of a sudden it's over and you're fine?"

"You know I'm not effected by stuff like this," Connor stated, running a hand through his hair.

"Yes, but lately you've let your barriers drop. Especially when you're around Oliver. You're... softer, for lack of better words. And I've seen the way you look at him -we all have-" she gestured to Laurel and Wes "And I'm pretty sure we can all come to the agreement that you don't look at Oliver the way you look at the other guys you hooked up with."

"She's right, you know," Wes pointed out.

Connor huffed out a breath and rolled his eyes. "You're weirdly invested in my life," he said. "I will handle this whole situation like I do with every other: getting the fuck over it."

“But is Oliver ‘getting the fuck over it’?” Laurel suddenly interjected. Connor looked over at her. “I mean, it’s obvious that no work is going to be getting done, so lets just talk. So, is he?”

Connor shrugged, looking down. “I wouldn’t know,” he mumbled. “I haven’t talked to him.”

“Well have you at least apologized to him?”

Connor stayed silent. The three around him groaned.

“You’re an ass, Connor,” Laurel casually said.

“Well what am I supposed to do?” Connor exclaimed, looking at the three of them.

“Apologizing would be a good start,” Laurel said, looking back down at the book in front of her.

“Even if I did want to talk to him,” Connor said. He wouldn’t admit he actually does want to talk to Oliver. “He wouldn’t talk to me. I’m pretty sure he hates me. So, it’s done.”

“That’s it? You’re just leaving it at that?” Michaela raised an eyebrow.

“That’s it,” Connor concluded. “Now, lets get back to studying, right?”

~~

“So are you and Aiden a thing yet?” Connor asked, sitting on the sofa in Michaela’s living room. Wes and Laurel had left about ten minutes ago, but Connor didn’t really plan on leaving soon.

“You’d probably be the first person to know if we were,” Michaela said, coming into the room and sitting next to Connor.

“I’d be the first person you tell? How sweet.” He smirked, crossing his legs and leaning back on the couch.

“No. You’d probably just find out somehow because you seem to know everything about everyone.” Michaela then sighed. “Besides, it’s not like I haven’t tried talking to him. He just really… doesn’t pay attention to me.”

“Well, I don’t understand that,” Connor stated. “I mean, every guy would be lucky to have you.”

“Connor Walsh, do you actually have a heart?”

The pair laughed. “I know, how shocking,” Connor said, smiling. “But I’m being serious. And maybe Aiden is just oblivious. Even when we were dating he was oblivious to stuff going on.”

“Yeah but that was sophomore year,” Michaela pointed out. “Things could be different now.”

“I doubt he’s changed that much in two years,” Connor said. “I could talk to him, set you two up.”

“Oh so now you can be involved in my dating life, but I can’t be involved in yours?”

Connor groaned, rolling his eyes. “Are we back on Oliver again? Listen, Michaela, I get it, okay? I screwed up-”

“Do you feel bad?” Michaela interjected.

“I answered that before…”

“No, you didn’t. You avoided the question. I just want to know: do you feel bad that you slept with Paxton? I know that you knew Oliver felt something for you. And I think you felt something for Oliver. I’ve known you for years Connor, and I have never seen you act the way you did with Oliver, not even when you and Aiden were dating. And you basically did cheat on Oliver. So, just answer this, do you feel bad?”

Connor stayed silent, looking down at his hands.

“Connor-”

“Okay, yes, I feel bad!” Connor snapped. “Do you want the truth? I feel horrible. But, really, what the hell can I do? I can’t even come to terms with how I feel about Oliver, and frankly, I don’t know if I want to! A lot of what I do goes to shit, and this thing I had with Oliver did too. And I…” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I want to apologize. But there’s really nothing I could do. I… I haven’t tried to talk to him because he doesn’t even look at me. He hates me! Like I doubt there’s _anything_ I could do!”

The two were silent for a couple moments before Michaela suddenly said, “Flowers might work.”

“What?”

“Flowers,” Michaela repeated. “You could get him flowers. They work for girls, I can’t see why they wouldn’t work for guys.”

Connor thought for a minute. She did have a point. And right now,that was Connor’s best option. “And you really think that will work?”

“You know I can’t promise you that,” Michaela said and Connor frowned. “But -unless you’re lying to me, which I hope you’re not- you seem sincere about apologizing. And he might see that too.”

The next day, when Connor and Oliver saw each other and Oliver immediately turned away, he decided flowers was the way to go.

~~

He didn’t get red roses. Red roses are cliche. They’re used in rom-coms and Connor is not there for that. Besides, you give someone red roses when you’re, like, proposing or something.

So he got white roses. White roses would be _fine._

If Connor said he wasn’t nervous driving to Oliver’s house, he’d be lying. He almost turned around twice and he purposely took the long way to get to his house. He’s already been procrastinating almost two weeks to do this, but a couple extra minutes couldn’t really matter.

He didn’t even know what he was going to say. Anything he thought of seemed like it wouldn’t be enough. He couldn’t just say “sorry”, but if he tried to elaborate, he might end up talking too much and he might screw things up even further.

He was delighted to see that there were no cars in Oliver’s drive way, which meant that it was most likely just Oliver home. If there was even a chance that his parents would answer the door, Connor would probably turn around.

Connor purposely walked slowly to Oliver’s door. He will admit that he was a lot more nervous than he thought he would be.

If someone saw the process of Connor working up the courage to knock on Oliver’s door, he would be humiliated. Basically, he almost knocked once, then turned around and almost walked off the porch. Then he went back to the door and stood there for a couple moments. Turned around again. He finally knocked on the door and then contemplated leaving the flowers and running back to his car and driving away.

He was just glad that the blinds were drawn.

The door suddenly opened and Connor swore he had a small heart attack.

Oliver wasn’t the one in the doorway. And it wasn’t a parent. A brother? No, Oliver told Connor that he has an older brother who’s away at college. It couldn’t be someone from school, Connor didn’t recognize him.

“Hi,” the guy said, raising an eyebrow at Connor.

“Uh, hey,” Connor replied, scratching the back of his neck. “Sorry, I don’t think I have the wrong house… I’m looking for-”

“Oliver,” the guy cut in.

Connor nodded. “Yeah, him. Have you seen him?”

Suddenly, from behind him, he could hear Oliver call, “Drew, who’s at the door?”

The guy -Drew- smiled slightly. “Yeah, I’ve seen him. We actually just got back from our date.” He then looked down at the flowers. “Are those for him?”

Connor felt something twinge inside of him. “O-Oh, yeah” he quietly said before clearing his throat. “Well, uh, I’ll just be going then…”

He turned around, getting to the steps of the porch.

“You’re Connor, right?”

Connor turned back around. He sighed and nodded. “I don’t want to cause any trouble.”

Drew nodded. “I know,” he said. “I just want to tell you that you should probably stay away from Oliver.” And with that, he shut the door.

Connor quickly got back to the car and tossed the roses in the back seat. He drove to the next block before pulling over. He took out his phone and quickly texted Michaela:

**[5:47 PM] i brought him flowers**

**[5:48 PM] i don’t really think that works though when his boyfriend answers the door**


	5. Step One: Think Before You Speak (Failed Step One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (based off the prompt: You give me a piggy back ride (or ride home) after I got out of a brutal fight and can barely stand.)
> 
> It has been almost three weeks since Connor brought flowers. So, roughly a month and a half since Connor has really talked to Oliver (and Oliver has even paid attention to him). And of course they talk again when Connor is on the concrete, vulnerable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually changed the ending of this chapter last minute and it got sadder whoops sorry everyone
> 
> but
> 
> that finale tho like im currently still dying oh mY GOD
> 
> find me on tumblr @ actualconnorwalsh.tumblr.com !!! <3

Something had to be broken. His nose, most likely. Maybe something in his leg or foot. It hurt for Connor to breathe but he didn’t think his ribs were broken. Or maybe one was, they did kick him in that area more than once. The world had only just stopped feeling like it was tilting and he just hoped he didn’t have a concussion. All he knew is that he felt like just staying on the concrete and never moving again.

Really, he should have known better than to start a fight with someone from the wrestling team. He really should have known better than to get his three friends, one other from the wrestling team and then two who were both boxers, involved too.

The school day had already ended, and Connor was currently in the end of the parking lot, so it’s not like anyone would be there to assist. And of fucking course his car was in the shop this week so he would have to walk (limp) home.

Once he could actually stand without feeling like he was being stabbed or something, of course.

He didn’t even flinch when someone’s shoes suddenly came into his view.

“If you’re here to attack me again, just do it,” he mumbled, shutting his eyes. He had little pride left now.

“I’m actually here to see if you’re alive. And also, you’re in front of my car.”

His eyes shot open at the recognized voice. _Oliver._

It has been almost three weeks since Connor brought flowers. So, roughly a month and a half since Connor has really talked to Oliver (and Oliver has even paid attention to him). And of course they talk again when Connor is on the concrete, vulnerable.

Well, now he had _no_ pride left.

He immediately sat up, looking up at the boy standing above him. It hurt like _fuck._ “Oliver-” His voice was a bit strained.

“Woah, hey, don’t move so fast,” Oliver said, kneeling in front of him. He put his hands on Connor’s shoulders and steadied him. Connor hadn’t even realized he was swaying. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“You were supposed to say ‘no’. You’re head is bleeding, along with your nose, and you look like you’re dying,” Oliver pointed out, his eyes sweeping over his body.

“Tis but a scratch,” Connor mumbled.

Oliver sighed, adjusting his glasses. “What’s your name?”

Connor furrowed his eyebrows. “Oliver, you know who I am.”

“Yeah, I do, but you could have a concussion, so I want to see if you know who you are.”

It was Connor’s turn to sigh. “Connor Walsh.”

Oliver smiled slightly and Connor couldn’t help but return it. He’s missed seeing Oliver smile at him. “Good,” Oliver said. “Can you answer a couple more questions for me?”

Connor hesitated before nodding (even that threw his balance off). “Sure…”

“Are you dizzy? Does your head hurt?”

“Yes and yes…”

“Do you feel nauseous?”

“No.” Connor was keeping his eyes on the ground. This was _humiliating._

“Can you stand?”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Connor suddenly asked, looking back up at Oliver.

Oliver stared at him, looking lost for words. “I’m a decent person.”

“But I did all that shit to you-”

“This isn’t me forgiving you, Connor,” Oliver cut him off, his voice tense. “This is me being a decent person and not stepping over you to get to my car.”

“Oh.” Connor didn’t really know why he expected anything different from Oliver. He hated him.

“So, can you stand?” Oliver repeated, his tone softer.

“No, I don’t think I can,” he admitted, his face burning.

“Then I’ll drive you home,” Oliver declared. “My car isn’t even ten feet away.”

“You really don’t have to…” Connor murmured.

“Then what are you going to do? Stay here on the concrete until school tomorrow?” Oliver asked. Connor shook his head slowly. “Then come on, I’m going to drive you home.”

Oliver helped Connor up, gently hooking his arm under Connor’s. Connor hissed in pain at standing and did almost lose his balance.

“What did these guys even do to you?” Oliver asked, slowly helping Connor to his car. Connor noticed that he did actually sound concerned.

“Ah, you know, punch me, kick me, roughly throw me around,” Connor said, trying to keep his voice steady and calm. “The usual.”

Oliver sighed, getting to his car. He opened the door to the passenger seat and helped Connor in. “Don’t move,” he said, even though Connor was basically incapable of getting anywhere by himself. Oliver went to the back of his car, opening the trunk and getting something. He came back with a towel in hand and took a water bottle out of his bag. Wetting the towel, he crouched down in front of Connor. “This might hurt.” He then, as gently as he could, started to clean Connor’s face of any blood.

Connor winced and leaned back from the towel. Oliver quickly murmured an apology before continuing. From the sensitivity of his nose, Connor was now fully convinced that it was broken.

When Oliver was finally finished, he wadded up the towel into a ball and tossed it into the back. He then quickly got into the driver’s seat and started the car.

The first two minutes of the ride were painful. And not in a _oh I just got my ass kicked_ way. The car was full on _silent._ Not even the radio was on. Connor lived on the other side of town, the car ride will at least be twenty minutes.

Connor hated the silence. If this was a month ago, the two wouldn’t be able to shut up. But Connor had to go and be an ass hole and now the two are back to being basically strangers.

“How are you feeling?” Oliver asked five minutes into the drive.

“Tired,” Connor replied, staring out the window.

“Don’t sleep, you probably have a concussion. Do you want me to take you to the doctor?”

“No, just take me home.”

Five more minutes of silence.

“I brought flowers,” Connor suddenly blurted out.

“What?” Oliver asked, obviously confused.

“Three weeks ago, I got you flowers,” Connor continued on. He couldn’t even stop himself from saying all of this, words just kept tumbling off his tongue. “They were white roses, because red is way overused, you know? But when I brought them to your house, some other guy answered. Your boyfriend. He said that you two just got back from a date. So, I left. The flowers are currently dead in the back of my car. Or were. I don’t know. It’s in the shop right now so they might have thrown the flowers out. I don’t know. But I brought you flowers.”

By the time he finished, they were stopped at a red light. The two looked over at each other. “You brought me flowers?” Oliver asked softly. Connor thought he saw something flicker in his eyes.

Connor nodded. “I wanted to apologize. I was told flowers would work.”

Oliver looked forward again, biting his lip. “I…” He then sighed deeply and shook his head. “You are such an aggravating and confusing person, Connor Walsh.”

Connor instantly grew defensive, frowning at Oliver. “Why? I bring flowers and all of a sudden I’m confusing?”

Oliver rolled his eyes, driving forward when the light turned green. “You don’t get it. You’ve always been confusing. You sit here and act all couple-y with me but then just go and sleep with that guy. From what I’ve heard from everyone, you don’t do feelings or tell anyone except your core group of friends -and I don’t even think they know that much- anything about yourself and you act all cold and mysterious or whatever, but then all of a sudden you’re bringing flowers to me. I can tell you don’t want to talk about any of this, though, and actually fix it. Or at least I assume you don’t, since once trying to win me back with flowers didn’t work, you ultimately stopped trying. But I get it, you know? Something for once doesn’t go your way and you have to face the harsh reality that at some point guys are going to stop dropping to their knees when they see you, so you just give up.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Connor asked.

“It seems that you just give up on things when they don’t immediately go your way. Flowers didn’t work for me, so you just go on and live your life and forget probably, don’t you? I mean, would you even have told me you got me flowers if you weren’t here with me right now? And from what I’ve heard from other people, you-”

“Why do you always say that?” Connor snapped, despite the fact that the sudden increase of the volume of his voice made his head hurt. “You always assume this and assume that and believe everything you hear but you know _nothing_ about me!”

“ _Exactly!_ That’s why!” Oliver snapped. “I have known you for a good amount of time and I tell you so much but you tell me nothing. It’s gotten to the point where I have to believe what I hear because that’s the only way I can start to find things out about you!”

“I’m sorry that I didn’t realize hooking up with someone means you have to know their entire life story,” Connor muttered, not thinking before he spoke. “We hooked up, I didn’t expect to be sticking around long enough that I would actually have to tell you stuff about me.”

Connor didn’t really comprehend what he just said until the words left his tongue.

And he instantly regretted it.

Oliver looked at him with a hurt expression and Connor instantly tried to take back what he said. “Wait, Oliver-”

“ _Don’t,_ Connor,” Oliver cut in. He wasn’t shouting, his voice was hushed; it was hurt but also harsh. “This is what I- I _fucking_ mean! You’re confusing! You hook up with me and _stick around_ as you said, though now I feel as if you were just staying because you felt bad.”

“Oliver, I didn’t mean-” Connor started again quickly, trying to get his point across.

“But you said it! And you wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t mean it! And you cheat and then say you actually like me but pull shit like this!”

Connor stayed silent. They were at another red light and he could feel Oliver’s eyes on him, but he couldn’t bare to look up.

“You’re an asshole,” Oliver said quietly. “And you’re inconsiderate to everyone around you.”

“Oliver, please,” Connor said, basically pleading. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. Really. I want… I want to make things okay. Can’t we just, like, start over?”

“It’s not that easy,” Oliver snapped, starting to drive again. “So, no, we can’t just start over. I can’t… I don’t want to see you again after this.”

Connor thought his heart was actually shattering. He couldn’t bring himself to ask why, he already knew. He brought this upon himself. He fucked up whatever he had with Oliver by hooking up with Paxton, and now he just ruined any second chance he could have possibly had because he’s a defensive idiot who doesn’t think.

He was silent for a couple more moments before saying, “Pull over. My sister’s home, she’ll come get me from here.”

Oliver didn’t hesitate to pull over. “Bye, Oliver,” Connor said (and was greeted with silence) before getting out of the car. He sat on one of the benches and watched Oliver’s car drive away.

Oliver didn’t look back.


	6. Intoxicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s probably making a mistake. He knows he is. But he just can’t stop himself from calling. And hey, maybe the two can work things out. Besides, he needs a ride. And it can’t be that late. And even though he won’t admit it out loud, he wants to call-  
> “Hello?” Oliver. 
> 
> (tw for alcohol)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay if you follow me on tumblr, you have probably seen posts about how this chapter kicked my ass. this was one of the hardest chapters for me to write, but in the end, with the help of two of my friends, i think i was able to pull it together. so don't worry, i don't think i left you guys with a not-good chapter. tbh i actually like how it turned out. it's like 9:15pm as i'm doing this so i'm sorry this update is pretty late!!! i didn't want to mess up my weekly update schedule bc if i didn't update today i would have to wait until next weekend to do so.
> 
> and i'm sorry if there are any errors, i read over this a couple times but i might have missed some. but, hey, i hope you enjoy the chapter!!! <3
> 
> find me on tumblr @ actualconnorwalsh.tumblr.com

Connor wasn’t _drunk_. No, he was…

He was…

He lied. He’s very drunk.

It’s not like he doesn’t drink. Of course he does. He just hasn’t really ever drank _this_ much. He’s just glad that he’s pretty composed, even when drunk, and is able to keep some of his dignity.

He was currently sitting on the steps outside of the house. Loud music could still be heard behind Connor. December had finally come and the cold air has been setting in, so Connor was freezing. But he didn’t feel like going inside. Too many people were in and pushing around and there was yelling and Connor wasn’t having that right now.

He wanted to go home.

But Laurel drove, and she has the keys, and Connor doesn’t feel like looking for her. And Michaela is somewhere with Aiden. Wes left early to go hang out with his girlfriend, Rebecca. And Asher… well, Connor thinks Asher is drunker than he is.

He fumbles for his phone out of his pocket (nearly drops it). All the letters and number are blurring together but Connor manages to dial the number he should have deleted two weeks ago.

He’s probably making a mistake. He _knows_ he is. But he just can’t stop himself from calling. And hey, maybe the two can work things out. Besides, he needs a ride. And it can’t be that late. And even though he won’t admit it out loud, he wants to call-

“Hello?” _Oliver._

“Hey,” Connor said. He was relieved that he answered.

“Wait, _Connor?_ ” Connor could hear rustling around in the background. “Why are you calling- I can hear music in the background… where are you?”

“I’m at this party right now,” Connor said.

“Why are you calling? Are you drunk?”

Connor nodded even though Oliver couldn’t see him. “Um, yeah, I am.”

Oliver sighed deeply. “Do you have any clue what time it is right now?”

Connor frowned. Was it actually late? “No,” he admitted.

“It’s one-thirteen A.M.”

_Definitely later than I thought,_ Connor thought.

“Oh,” was the only thing Connor could say.

“Well, I’m up now. What do you want?”

“Uh, I was actually wondering if you could come pick me up?” Connor asked, scratching the back of his neck.

Oliver stayed silent for a couple moments. Then, Connor could hear him sigh again. “I- It’s… there’s no one else there?”

“I can’t find anyone else,” Connor said. “And besides, Oliver, I know we haven’t seen each other in a while, but maybe we can talk and-”

“Connor-”

“We could work things out,” Connor continued on, ignoring Oliver’s interruption. “We can talk and-”

“Connor, you’re drunk,” Oliver said. “We are not having this conversation. I’ll come get you, and then I’ll drop you off at your house, okay?”

Connor frowned, staring at the ground. “Okay,” he muttered.

After giving Oliver the address of the party, the two hung up and Connor waited on the steps for Oliver. He blew on his hands, trying to get warmth back into them.

Tomorrow, when he’s sobered up, he’ll probably regret dragging Oliver out of bed to come get him. Oliver’s probably still mad, and this doesn’t help. But right now Oliver is the only person Connor wants to -needs to- see right now.

And perhaps that’s a bit pathetic. Since when did Connor Walsh ever _need_ someone? He’s lived his first seventeen years of life never needing someone, and then all of a sudden Oliver shows up and suddenly he can’t get Oliver out of his head and he wants to be around him.

Connor decided he’s pretty pathetic.

“Connor.” Connor suddenly looked up to see Oliver walking towards him. He didn’t think he would be here so fast, but maybe he just lost track of time.

Oliver was frowning and Connor couldn’t help but do so too.

“Hey, Oliver,” he said, feeling a bit sheepish.

“Connor, it’s December and you don’t even have a jacket, you have to be freezing,” Oliver said, already taking off his own jacket and slipping it around Connor’s shoulder. Connor nodded, silently accepting it.

“Are you ready to go?” Oliver asked, looking down at him.

Connor nodded again, worrying his bottom lip. He stood to his feet, swaying. Spotting Oliver’s car, he immediately started for it, staggering and nearly falling over.

“Hey, hey!” Oliver said, quickly going over to Connor. He wrapped his arm around Connor’s waist, holding him close. “Slow down. We don’t need you falling and getting hurt.”

Oliver helped Connor into his car, buckling the seat belt for him before getting into the driver’s seat.

Just like two weeks ago, the car was silent. Connor kept his eyes on Oliver.

He had to be mad. Why wouldn’t he be? Connor screwed up multiple times with Oliver and now they’re both here and it’s one-thirty in the morning and Oliver should be sleeping or whatever, not here driving Connor and-

“What’s wrong?” Oliver asked, looking at Connor out of the corner of his eye. “You have been staring at me ever since we got in the car.”

“You’re mad at me,” Connor blurted out.

Oliver furrowed his eyebrows. “What- Connor- we’re not having this conversation.”

“You probably are mad at me,” Connor continued, ignoring Oliver and unable to stop himself from talking. “I mean, I’ve been such an ass. I can’t blame you that you’re mad. I mean, the whole thing with Paxton and then when I saw you last. You have every right to be mad at me. Hell, you could even hate me and I wouldn’t blame you.”

“Connor, you’re drunk,” Oliver stated, his voice stern. “And I’m exhausted. We’re not going to have this conversation right now.”

“I mean, I screwed up,” Connor said, ignoring what Oliver said. “I screwed us up. And you… you _hate_ me. You _have_ to.”

“Connor, I don’t hate you,” Oliver insisted.

“Well why don’t you?” Connor asked. He could hear himself starting to lose his composure. “I would! You have every right to hate me and yet you don’t. I’m an asshole, Oliver, and I screwed up so bad and yet you sit here and say that you don’t hate me!”

“Because I can’t bring myself to hate you!” Oliver exclaimed suddenly, causing Connor to jump. “I haven’t been able to get you off my mind! I was sort of able to while dating Drew but then he broke up with me and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you! And I’ve been sitting here trying to avoid you and I thought after what happened last time, when I was driving you home, I would finally be able to convince myself to stay away from you. That obviously didn’t work because I’m here.” He then sighed and stopped at a red light, pinching the bridge of his noise.

They were both silent for a couple moments. Oliver didn’t look at him and Connor couldn’t stop staring.

Then something occurred to Connor.

“You don’t want to talk, not just because I’m drunk, but you’re not sure if you can trust my word anymore,” Connor finally said, quietly. “You keep saying that I’m drunk, but are you just hoping that I forget about all of this and we don’t talk?”

“You know, it’s really hard for me to try to be mad at you when you’re so composed and correct while drunk,” Oliver said. “You’re supposed to be sloppy and forgetful and I’m supposed to be mad at you because you’re doing nothing right.”

“I’m sorry for being able to hold my liquor,” Connor said, unable to stop himself from laughing. “But how about this. We’ll talk tomorrow when I’m finally not feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck.” He then smirked. “If it makes you feel any better, I might be a composed drunk, but I get the worst hangovers.”

Oliver nodded. “That does make me feel a bit better.”

Connor smiled. “So we talk tomorrow, and we’ll sort things out. I know you said last time that we can’t start over, and that’s not what I’m asking. I was thinking we could maybe… make things better. And I promise, I’ll tell the complete truth.”

“You better tell the truth,” Oliver said, looking at Connor out of the corner of his eye. “Because, yes, right now I can’t get you off my mind, but if you screw with me one more time, you will _never_ hear from me and I will not come get your drunk ass from parties.”

“I swear Oliver, I will tell the truth,” Connor promised. “That you can believe.”

Oliver nodded. “I hope I can,” he said. They were finally on Connor’s street.

“And, uh, thanks for the ride. The reason I didn’t call home first is because my parents are out of town and my sister is at her boyfriend’s,” Connor explained..

“You’re welcome,” Oliver said. He paused before saying, “Wait, I was the first person you called?”

“We can talk about that tomorrow,” Connor smirked. “Now, would you like to help me get into my house or would me falling on my ass make you feel better?”

“That actually would, so please do.”

“Oliver, what the hell, I thought you would at least show some sympathy,” Connor said, smiling.

Oliver grinned and let a laugh escape his lips and, if he was being honest, Connor was glad to know it was because of him (even if it was about him making a fool of himself).

He was happy to say that he thinks things are finally going to get better between the two of them.

And, yes, Oliver did help Connor get into his house.


	7. You're Always Better With Words Than I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor just couldn’t screw things up again. This was his last chance, things can’t go wrong. He can’t let things go wrong. Oliver will actually hate him if things go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that i'm a day late with posting!!! i would think of a good excuse but tbh i was just procrastinating and was also pretty stressed yesterday :/
> 
> well, enjoy the chapter!!!
> 
> find me on tumblr @ actualconnorwalsh.tumblr.com !!!

For the record, Connor did wake up that morning feeling like he was hit by a truck.

He groaned and rolled over in his bed, blindly trying to find his phone. Finally finding it and unlocking it, he lowered the brightness and squinted at the screen.

10:57 A.M. Message from Mom. Message from Oliver.

He ignored the text from his mother and checked Oliver’s:

**hope you’re feeling better**

**i’ll come by your house at noon? i expect that you’re in no state to drive**

Connor quickly replied, saying that he’s right and that noon is fine.

He promised Oliver that the two of them would talk things out today. Despite his nervousness, he couldn’t back out now.

Yes, him and Oliver will talk. And they’ll make up. And they will be… something. Boyfriends… maybe.

Connor just couldn’t screw things up again. This was his last chance, things can’t go wrong. He can’t let things go wrong. Oliver will actually hate him if things go wrong.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. It was too early and his head hurt too much to sit here and worry about what was going to happen. He just had to let things happen.

He didn’t move from his bed for a little while longer. Well, if he was being honest, he didn’t move much at all.

Soon enough, it was 11:45 and he actually had to get out of bed. He swung his legs over the side of his bed and stood, waiting for the room to finish spinning before continuing on.

He quickly washed up, trying to make himself look somewhat presentable.

When he heard the knock on his front door he nearly had a heart attack. He sighed, shaking his head. He shouldn’t be nervous. This will just be a nice and civil talk that will hopefully end in Oliver beginning to trust him.

He opened up his front door to -of course- find Oliver. He looked a bit nervous himself, pulling on the hem of his shirt.

“Good morning,” was the first thing that left Connor’s lips as he leaned against the door frame.

“It’s actually the afternoon,” Oliver pointed out quietly. “Uh, how are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been hit by a train,” Connor answered, chuckling. And nervous. But he won’t admit that. He let Oliver in, watching him slide his shoes off as Connor shut the front door.

Oliver sat down on the couch, fiddling with his hands and looking down at them. “Let’s just get down to it,” he said after a couple moments, looking back up at Connor. “We need to talk, since that’s what you promised… and it would be pretty shitty if you backed out now.”

Connor nodded, scratching the back of his neck. “Trust me, I’m not backing out,” he assured. “Just… I’ve never talked… feelings before. So, don’t make fun of me.”

“I would never,” Oliver said. He seemed like he genuinely meant it. Smiling slightly, he went over to sit next to Oliver, crossing his legs.

Connor ran a hand through his hair, his mind racing. “Well,” he started. “I screwed up. Like, majorly screwed up. And like the thing with Paxton? I… I don’t know why I did that- had sex with him. But he was just sex. But you’re… not? You aren’t- weren’t? You weren’t just… sex. And I haven’t really felt that way about a guy in a while. Like, I’ve been… getting around since, like, sophomore year. And I feel different with you. Like… I don’t know how to describe it but you are more than just sex and I actually really enjoyed hanging out with you every day and it killed me to know I… screwed up, and all that.”

Oliver nodded. “Can I confess something?”

Connor’s stomach twisted at hearing that but he still nodded. “Of course.”

“My friends think you’re bad for me,” Oliver admitted, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “And, uh, maybe you are? Like, you did hook up with Paxton and we’ve been fighting but… I still think about you a lot, really.” Connor noticed a blush on his face. “It’s embarrassing, but I can’t really stop. So yeah, you might be bad for me, but I’m willing to take that risk. It’s just…” He trailed off, worrying his bottom lip.

“Just what?” Connor asked. He won’t admit out loud that he’s a bit scared to hear what he has to say.

“I don’t want to take that risk and give you my trust only for things to come crashing down again.”

Connor nodded, running a hand through his hair again. “Something like Paxton isn’t going to happen again,” he said. “Nothing like that. I want to make things better between us. I like you a lot, Oliver.”

“I more than-” Oliver stopped himself and sighed deeply, pulling at his hair. “I just don’t want to go through all that again because I care… cared a lot about you. And I don’t want to have to sit here in constant worry about you being with other guys. I mean, look at you. Guys practically fall at your feet when they see you and then there’s me and-... and I don’t want to give you my trust again if you’re just gonna go and screw around with it. I don’t want to make another bad decision….”

Connor shook his head. “I’m not gonna screw you over, Oliver,” he assured, his voice quiet. “I… I seriously want us to work things out. We- We can take things slow. I don’t want to rush you into doing anything you don’t want to.”

Oliver nodded. “Slowly… that could work.”

“And like,” Connor continued. “You can label what we are. I want to go at your pace for this… us.”

“Thank you,” Oliver said softly.

“And you said you wanted to know more about me,” Connor added, unable to stop himself from talking. “And I assume not from other people. So we can actually take time to get to know each other? If that’s okay with you, I mean.”

Connor was relieved to see Oliver smiling. “I’m very okay with that,” he said.

Connor grinned. “So, uh, do you want to stay here for a little bit? Yeah I’m hungover so I can’t be very… entertaining but there’s movies and such. It can be like a…” Connor trailed off, trying to find the word that fit.

“A date?” Oliver offered.

“A date!” Connor beamed. “Yeah, that. Like, a first one without all the awkwardness. We can just… I don’t know. Watch movies or something. Whatever happens in a date that’s not in some fancy restaurant.”

“Well, we could start it off by you telling me three things about yourself,” Oliver suggested. “That I wouldn’t already know, of course.” He brought his knees up to his chest.

Connor nodded, moving to the other end of the couch so that he could kick his legs up. “Well,” he started, thinking for a moment. "Michaela was the first person I came out to, I want to be a lawyer, and, okay don't make fun of me for this one but, the reason I get into so many fights is because so many people talk shit about my friends and that doesn't work well with me."

Oliver frowned. "Why would I make fun of you for that?"

Connor shrugged. "Most people think I'm completely heartless and such so they always find it amusing when I'm not, I guess."

"Well I think it's nice," Oliver commented, smiling.

Connor smiled. "And now you tell me three things."

Oliver nodded, thinking. "I want to eventually work in IT, I come from a small family, and… I don't know, I really like science? Sorry, I'm not really that interesting."

"I think you're very interesting," Connor said.

Eventually, without even realizing it, the pair ended up talking for a good hour or two.

Connor did end up being able to kiss Oliver. A lot actually. And he decided that things going slower than they used to wouldn't be so bad.


End file.
